Dealing With Imposter Syndrome.

I spent so much time getting this website together, with no knowledge of any of this.

It was something I was so excited to start and so happy to have something that is all mine.

However, I can’t even tell you the number of times I have started writing and just given up halfway. I’ve been doubting myself and truly questioning if this is something I can even do. I sit on social media and see other’s express themselves and their words in ways that I feel I can never do. I’ve been wondering if doing all of this is even worth it? Will I reach people? Do people even care about anything I’m saying?

I’m trying to learn, to be honest, I feel like I am not worthy of having a website that will potentially even reach anyone just because I feel like there are already people who do it so well, and what do I bring?

Sometimes I don’t even know if it’s the self-sabotage or if I’m just realizing what others possibly think which is, “what is this girl even doing?” and in that, I don’t even know how to answer that.

I spent so many years writing my emotions in the best way I knew how to deal with my MDD or anxiety and somewhere along that I lost inspiration, I doubt myself and I don’t know how to go from here.

One day I started a template of the book I had always dreamed of writing, all with topics I felt have shaped me into the person I am and the words I wanted people to resonate with and never even finished it.

why?

because there are books that have done it better. What does a twenty-one-year-old girl from Washington have to say that’s any better than what a successful poet hasn’t already?

I’m trying to get that spark back I had where I didn’t care about any of that, and I’m trying to remind myself that even if no one in the world cares about what I am saying or if none of it even makes sense that writing will always be a way I choose to release all emotion and a way in which maybe even one person will resonate with it.

From here on, I will post on Fridays at noon.

See you next week.